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Friday, June 2, 2017

Traits of Successful People---How to Raise Successful Kids By Trisha Roberts

Kids learn skills in childhood that lead to success as adults

If you ask any American mom or dad what they want for their children when they are grown, independence and success rate high on the list.  So how do we develop independence and success?  What is success?  What is independence?  We’ll look at developing independence in another blog.  For now, let’s discuss success.

One definition of success from Merriam-Webster Dictionary states that success is a, “favorable or desired outcome; also:  the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

I would further state that success can be a satisfactory completion of a task or goal; to gain respect, esteem or approval.  Successful can also mean fruitful, positive, effective, popular, wealthy, thriving, flourishing, productive, victorious, unbeaten, or triumphant.

A recent study examined the childhood attributes of successful people and how parents play a role in their development.  Two contributing factors that were common in people labeled as “successful” were:
  •      The early development of a work ethic—they make their kids do chores
  •      They develop good relationships—they are given the opportunity to give and receive love.

How does a child develop a work ethic?  Observing the value parents (and other significant adults) place  on doing work, the desire to work hard, the determination to do a good job, and perseverance in completing tasks, goes a long way toward developing a good sense of work ethic.  Parents who believe that work is a moral good--that it can be fun, that it is fruitful, that it is rewarding—model for children an attitude that is frequently followed as they grow up.

But observation is not enough.  Children should be given appropriate chores at an early age. A young child can be asked to put their laundered and folded clothes in their drawers or cupboard; this is actually a great way to reinforce memory and sorting.

Even young kids are able to do appropriate chores

Doing dishes together as a family develops a good work ethic

Chores are important teaching tools.

Picking up toys, feeding a pet, making a bed, emptying trash cans around the house, drying dishes, carrying groceries in from the car, and setting the table are all chores that even young children can learn and accomplish. When children participate in chores, they solidify the family unit—they come to understand that work needs to be done and each person needs to contribute for the betterment of the entire family. They experience the joy and success of a job completed and feel valued for their role. We hear today of children growing up feeling "entitled", "elite", and "exempt". Let's teach our kids to be team players and to work together for the good of the home unit!

This is also a part of developing good relationships and which is another key factor in developing healthy, successful children. All of us long to be loved and accepted.  Children need to experience love and have an opportunity to express love.  From infancy onward, children need to hear the words, “I love you” and to experience love in a language they understand. (See Gary Chapman’s book, “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts”).  A touch, a gift, a statement of worth, quality time, and an act of service are ways to express love.  Parents should model loving behavior and encourage children to express their love and appreciation for other family members, neighbors, and acquaintances.

Giving and receiving love is an important part of development in children

There is no “perfect family” or a family that never experiences conflict, but when children see parents resolving differences they are reassured that their parents can work through difficulties and are committed to one another and to the family.  Even in divorced homes, children experience less emotional damage when their parents choose to get along.

Business Insider states in their article,  Ensure a Great Education for Students Across the Country, “Chronic stress from repeated exposure to destructive conflict can result in kids that are worried, anxious, hopeless, angry, aggressive, behaviorally-challenged, sickly, tired, and struggling academically.

Conflict resolution leads to restored balance; kids are reassured of the love and commitment their parents. They learn social skills that help them be productive, successful and fulfilled as adults.

Successful adults learn as children a positive work ethic and good social skills
Prepared to Take on the World!

Blog Administrator:  Trisha Roberts

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