As
parents, we want our children to succeed.
We hate to see them struggle. But struggle is a strategy for
learning. As children grapple and
wrestle to learn a new task, they develop excellent skills and tools for the
future. They learn by trial and error. They learn consequences. They learn to
experiment. They learn to persevere. If
we step in to help our kids every time they struggle to perform a task, we are
actually hindering their growth. They learn
that by complaining, crying, and fussing when they encounter a difficult task
they can get someone to do the work for them!
How well will that strategy work at their first job? Sometimes we need
to wait patiently and let the process unfold.
Think
about it. We learn and grow when we are
challenged with a new job or assignment. As we put forth effort to figure out a
new skill, we cultivate a sense of pride and accomplishment with a task
completed. Our brains are stretched to find new solutions. We develop new
strategies, tactics, techniques, and approaches that will assist us in future endeavors.
If
you have ever watched a baby chick emerging from its shell, you have seen the
exhausting struggle that occurs. Yet biologists tell us that the battle and
exertion is necessary for the young chick to develop; it is not unusual to take
24 hours for the hatching to emerge from the egg! In fact, if the chick is helped out of the
egg, it does not grow strong. It often
sickens and dies. The process and effort
of hatching actually increases blood flow and develops lung capacity in the
fledgling.
Looking
again to nature, we see the same struggle occurring with butterflies emerging
from their chrysalis. The effort of a
butterfly attempting to leave its cocoon produces stronger wings. If this
process does not occur, the butterfly’s wings don’t develop and they will be
crippled or die.
Letting
your children struggle to learn a task is a beneficial thing. We are actually strengthened by the obstacles
we face. Of course, there is a balance between struggling to the point of utter
frustration and allowing children to try to accomplish a task on their
own. You, as a parent, need to encourage
your child to attempt and persevere in learning new, challenging undertakings.
We want our children to be independent—to think, to do, to be. If we never allow them to encounter
difficulties, they will never acquire the skills needed to overcome problems
and obstacles. Don’t do everything for
your child. Let them attempt things on
their own. Don’t expect perfection, but
encourage them to do their best.
“Handing a child the toy he wants instead of
letting him crawl across the room for it or try his best to crawl for it;
fulfilling his every whim; loading him down with toys and other shiny beautiful
things before he really needs or desires them; emphasizing the importance of
grades in school instead of the importance of education. . . all of these
things tend to weaken the muscles a child should be developing on his own so
that when the time comes to function independently, he will have the strength
he needs.” Julie Loe, B.S., PTA
Find Ways to Make the Task More Fun!
Dressing skills are one of the first ways children start to show independence and are frequently a source of frustration for both kids and parents. Putting on shoes and socks, learning to button a shirt, fastening a jacket and tying shoes are all skills that take multiple times to learn. Getting a DressingDoll or Lace-Up Shoe allows kids to practice in a low-stress environment.
Blog Administrator: Trisha Roberts
proeducationaltoys@gmail.com
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